Ain't No Rest for the wicked

     For me, one if the most difficult parts of being a newlywed mil spouse is the limbo. When A and I got married in November we fully expected for me to be able to move over there sometime around the new year without toooo much hassle. I knew that I had a lot of reality checks coming my way but I didn't expect to really be challenged until I got there or until the moving process was under way. 

It is almost April as I write this, so I guess the joke was on me. 

        

          Looking back now I'm overcome with the feeling that the universe teaches you the most important lessons in the most unexpected ways at the most unexpected times. I have never been a patient person. I have never felt particularly bad or guilty for not being patient. Occasionally I envied patient people but the feeling quickly passed and I would go back to my usual instant-gratification ways. It's funny, I can almost hear the hysterical laughter of more experienced mil spouses as I write this. While I may not be very knowledgeable or experienced in the wisdom of military ways, I think most would agree with me when I say that patience is by far the most important virtue to have as an honest and faithful mil spouse. 

                        

                                               

        

                                  This is the most important technology to any long distance love. 

The path to this conclusion has NOT been easy:

November- arrogance (denial)

      I honestly believed that it would happen soon and be stressful but nothing that we couldn't handle. I was cheerful and, in retrospect, oblivious.

December- blame (anger)

      While, to be fair, December was a particularly difficult month for my family as well as my marriage, I still cringe a little when I think back to how often the words "mistake" or "your fault" were used. In truth, up until very recently, I still felt that way. 

January- pretending perseverance (bargaining)

       January is when the ball really got rolling as far as paperwork in terms of getting me to Korea. It felt like we were finally on track and out of the woods. Mistake number 2. Military significant others repeat after me: you are never "out of the woods". Especially not when it comes to paperwork. Good god the dd-forms I was drowning in. I can recite them in my sleep by name, purpose, completion date, and just where in the big ass stack of folders they are located.

February- the bad words (depression)

        The only words that I truly consider bad (aside from c**t which is just mean, although Louis C.K.'s stand up on it is the funniest shit ever) are ones that make me feel bad about myself. February was the month for those. I was missing Valentine's Day and his birthday and the "deadline" (mistake number 3) had long since passed. It was "never" going to happen. I "couldn't" do anything about it. I hated everything and everyone but no one as much as myself. I didn't want to get out of bed. And when I did it was to sit on the couch in my pajamas. 

March- the case of the fuck its (acceptance)

        I'll be honest: the only thing that got me out of my funk was a temp job. I'm not someone who can sit at home without a distraction. Work, school, something. This new temp job is actually at my mom's work so they have been very understanding. Without this job, I'm sure I would still be sitting around feeling like I'm waiting on life. And that's my definition of crazy.